This is a photo of my younger sister and me watching the sun go down on the Kona side of the Big Island of Hawaii with our dear doggie Cuddles! The year was about 1950, and it would have been a mid-week “vacation” with our parents, whose obligations with their church kept them close to home in Hilo over the week-ends. We loved these trips!
Years later when a college girlfriend, Malinda, visited the islands, we decided to fly to the Big Island from Honolulu (where I was living as a young adult) and rent a car to tour around a bit. I told her that we would get the car in Hilo and drive to the Kona side, but that it would take us all day to make the drive. We arrived as planned, and set out along the Hamakua Coast, stopping along the way to admire the stunning coastline and a host of price-winning horses on the Parker Ranch. We arrived at our Kona-side destination in about 2 hours!!
The point of this story is to reflect on how perceptions and perspectives change along the way. One of my favorite authors, Suzette Haden Elgin, in her “Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense” explains that one of the principles of good communication is to assume that whatever someone says or believes is true — you just have to figure out what it is true of, or what else the person has to believe in order to see this as the truth for them. So for example, when i told Malinda Continue reading